Everything is Something

One of the things on this earth that I hate the most are automatic hand
dryers. That’s right. Those machines mounted on the walls of public
restrooms that are supposedly for the convenience of restroom users in
the simple task of drying their hands. (So there’s nothing poetic about
the title of this entry - I’m actually going to talk about automatic
hand dryers)

My reason is simple - I can never get them to work quite right.

The
general idea for operation of these things is that one is supposed to
position his or her hands underneath the  vent where all the hot drying
air will come out. Underneath that vent is a sensor that will
"automatically" sense your hand hence "automatically" turning the
machine on. Simple right? Wrong! Damn wrong.

First of all, it’s
not that easy to get the thing to actually turn on. Apparently, in
Japan, China, Korea or wherever the hell they make these things,
"automatic" means a 15-30 second interval wherein the user is expected
to randomly move his or her arms in the attempt to make the "automatic"
machine to work. Hell, that’s what I end up doing. And when I say
random movement, I don’t mean slight and graceful arm movements. It’s
not as if i’m doing ballet. Think a cross between the "butterfly dance"
and baseball signals.

And of course getting it to turn on is
just half the battle. There’s the challenge of getting it to work long
enough to actually dry your hands. You’d think that all the work you
put into getting the thing to work (15-30 second ritual as explained, supra),
you’d at least get the same amount of time of hot air to let your hands
to dry. Ha! Fat chance! The gods of automatic hand dryers are cruel
dieties. You’ll get 3-5 seconds - and that’s if you’re lucky.

And
to add insult to injury, when you’re finally done drying you’re hands,
mostly from the random arm movements more than the hot "automatic" air,
suddenly the damn thing starts to work as it was supposed to when you
first started  using it. Cruel. Malicious. Malevolent.

It didn’t
used to be like this. Back in the good old days of hand dryers, when
"automatic" was a term only used for Technogas stoves, one need only
press a shiny silver button for the hand dryer to work. This magic
button gave the  user a solid 15-30 seconds, depending on the model, of
hot air just enough to dry one’s hands. And the beautiful  thing about
this classic hand dryers is that if your hands weren’t dry by the time
the hot air shut off, hell, you could press the button again and get
the same steady stream of sweet hot air. Those days are gone. These
classics are, sadly, only installed today in old dark crumbling office
buildings in restrooms filled with stagnant water.

Now is the era of the automatic hand dryer. And how I hate it.

An Existence of Greater Meaning: A Constitutional Approach to Proving the Obligatory Force of Corporate Social Responsibility.

That is the official title of my JD thesis.

While
others are dabbling in purely legal matters such the doctrine of prior
restraint, libel and "Transforming de Lege Ferenda to de Lege Lata:
Concretizing the Nebulous under International Law" (whatever the hell
that means), leave it to me to pick a thesis topic that deals with
bigger pictures and fundamental principles, so much so that it has the
unfortunate (or fortunate, depends on which way you look at it)
tendency to spill over to philosophical and socio-economic schools of
thought.

True enough, my "Fundamentals of Thesis" professor
liked the topic but was concerned over the aforementioned philosophical
undertone - if it wasn’t legal enough, I may have a problem. I do think
though that she really didn’t think it was legal enough to start with,
but the fact that my thesis adviser was the dean of the school and THE
corporation law guru pretty much stopped her from saying what she
really felt about it.

So inasmuch as I’m happy about the topic -
hell, I insisted on something about Corporate Social Responsibility -
it’s going to be an uphill battle to be able to get my topic to its
full potential - meaning, making it a hard-hitting legal treatise
rather than a long-ass militant philosophical rant.

And since
I’m making a thesis that’s very much in line with the point of this
journal, you’ll all be witnesses to the birth and growing pains of
this, my latest brainchild (wow… big whoop). Bearing in mind that
this is merely the intial portion of the introduction, this is what I
have so far…

"There is a general agreement in
philosophical theories as to the basic nature of man that it is by
doing the good that man’s fullness is achieved. What exactly the good
entails is arguable, but we all must concede that it is a fundamental
imperative that the good must be attained, with our best efforts and
our noblest intentions."

"In our limited jurisdiction,
the best efforts and the noblest intentions of the Sovereign Filipino
People, has produced the provisions of the Constitution. It is in this,
our organic law, that we have staked our understanding of what good we
are to achieve, and laid down the foundations of how we are to achieve
it. It is in fact in the 1987 Philippine Constitution, more perhaps
than any other in the world, that a fervent hope for progress and
prosperity is most apparent – by the introduction of the social and
economic rights in addition to the long-standing civil and political
rights. Through the 1987 Constitution therefore, no longer were social
justice and human dignity merely philosophical fantasies – they have
been elevated through the social and economic rights into legal
concepts. It is in these unique set of rights that corresponding duties
and obligations were impliedly created – the scope of which has not yet
fully been explored, but the reality of which permeate through each and
every branch of government and sector of society. It is the prevailing
belief, that through the convergence of these new rights and new
obligations, the greatness of our nation – our completeness as a just
and humane society – shall finally be realized."

"However,
in this, our very complex world, these elementary tenets of what man
must do have been skewed, wrangled and confused to accommodate
practicality and pragmatism bordering on the selfish. To produce more,
we have isolated values and interpreted principles in the attempt to
justify actions that have, in essence, worked against the very good we
entrusted ourselves to reach. And in no other area has this been more
apparent than in the commercial world. And no other tool is used quite
as often and effectively to perpetuate this fundamental option than the
Corporation."

"Through the Corporation, built on the
foundations of the bottom line, we have allowed ourselves to slide down
the slippery slope of the principle of profit maximization. While we
embellish this deterioration with terms like “value” and “utility”, the
fact remains that we have allowed those behind the Corporation to spare
nothing for the sake of the profitable return. In this twisted reality,
the good, if ever it is chosen to be accomplished, is not done for its
sake alone – it is used as a tool to rake in more profits. At best,
therefore, Corporate Social Responsibility is merely voluntary. The
isolation of values is most real in the Corporation, where human
beings, who by themselves must ideally do the good, are justified in
doing nothing else but make money in furtherance with what has grown to
be a self-centered legal mandate."

"“The Corporation is
merely for making profits – nothing more”, they say. But the
Constitution, our most sacred of laws, says otherwise – “The use of
property bears a social function, and all economic agents shall
contribute to the common good.” The same Constitution lays down the
various rights pertaining to social justice and human dignity and
boasts of policies and principles directed towards human welfare. But
for every right, there is a corresponding obligation. And it is
submitted that these rights ordain all agents of society to work for
society – one such agent being the Corporation."

"Therefore,
it is through the newly recognized social and economic rights enshrined
in our nation’s guide to doing the good that life is breathed into a
social obligation of the Corporation to go beyond maximizing profit, to
go farther than merely giving back value, to dig deeper than the false
foundation of the bottom line, to do good for good’s sake – a duty to
do Corporate Social Responsibility."

O ha. Ayos ba?

I just watched a replay of the ANC show "Square Off", which I suppose
is the official debate show of the local news channel, where, at the
end of every round (three in all), viewers could vote in who they
thought won the debate. This particular episode featured another clash
between Chiz Escudero and Mike Defensor, this time as to GMA’s repeal
of an Estrada Executive Order, limiting lending activities to
government financial institutions (GFIs). The proposal therefore of the
government in this discussion was that by repealing such order, it
would allow for more line departments of the government to operate its
own financing and micro-financing programs in order to provide credit
to the poor.

Now,
without getting into to much detail, such repeal would basically mean
that any Filipino in need of money could, in a more informal manner,
obtain credit from a government office or agency with a lending program
and that such government offices or agencies would not necessarily be
engaged in anything remotely financial. Hindi kailangan tipong
Landbank. Puwede na, halimbawa, ang DPWH magpautang. Take note, DPWH or
the Department of Public Works and Highways, has ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to
do with financing. But with the recent repeal, such is very much
possible.

The funny thing about the whole debate was that Chiz
Escudero, who was argued, quite eloquently I might add, for maintaining
the limitation under Estrada’s version of the EO, had, in my opinion,
no chance in hell of winning any votes at the end of any of the three
rounds of competitive discourse. You see while Mike Defensor was
talking about allowing more money sources for more people, here was
Chiz Escudero saying that we should continue to limit because such
programs could be abused. Of course, to a normal Filipino who hardly
has enough money to get through the day and who can’t get a clean loan
from any financial institution to help him out, what the damn hell
would he care about such abuses? Eh kasasabi lang ni Pareng Mike na
darami raw ang puwedeng utangan - ba’t hindi? The unfortunate reality
of having no access to resources is that it’s hard to look further than
the next day. When someone says, "Hey, here’s money" to someone who
doesn’t have any and who hasn’t had any for a while, the recipient is
unlikely to think "Hmmmm… kinurakot kaya ‘tong pinanggalingan ng
pera?" Di na pare. Kanya-kanya na yan. Galit-galit muna. Chiz Escudero
could have made all the sense in the world, hell, he could have talked
with the voice and reason of the Lord God Himself and he still wouldn’t
win any nods.

The result was an average of 70%-30% of the votes in favor of Defensor. Didn’t even stand a chance. Yes, we’re just that poor.

The other day I was at the grocery browsing through the canned goods
section when I stumbled upon what to me was disconcerting. It was a
stack of cans of Century Tuna Flakes in Vegetable Oil LITE. Now it
might be not that easy to grasp what exactly irked me about the concept
of a lite version of a tuna brand. You see, if you’ve ever noticed
Century Tuna ads, more often than not, you’d see some gorgeous model
holding a bowl of tuna saying in so little words something to the
effect that if you eat tuna, more specifically Century Tuna, you’ll
look like her/him. The whole idea of it is ridiculuous of course
because I’m not going to look like Borgy Manotoc because I devour cans
of processed fish day in and day out. And I’m sure some pimply fat
female high school sophomore will not at any time thank Century Tuna
because it made her look like Phoemela Baranda. But hell, that’s their
pitch. Anyway, the thing about these ads is that the attainment of the
healthy and gorgeous bodies, among other benefits, is premised on the
eating of plain, old non-special Century Tuna Flakes in Vegetable Oil.
So what in god’s name is Century Tuna Flakes in Vegetable Oil LITE
supposed to do? Is it supposed to make me look like Borgy Manotoc
faster? Is it supposed to give me eight packs, not just six? Or did it
take it up a notch and it can actually make me look like Tyson
Beckford? Isn’t the whole pitch of the original Century Tuna, at least
judging by the models they use, that it’s going to make everybody look
like they have foreign blood, live in Forbes Park and model for
Philippine Tattler? Then what the hell is the LITE version for? What
more could people possibly need? Is the LITE version the real deal now
and the original Flakes in Oil was nothing more than a sham? So what,
you mean to say Century Tuna has been bloating and fattening me up all
the damn time before there was a Century Tuna LITE?

If
i’ll be able to find reasonable answers to my questions, i’ll never
know. As of present, the issue is moot - I bought the damn can of lite
tuna anyway.

I promised myself that I wouldn’t copy-paste anything on my journal -
ever. Personal standard lang ba… ayoko lang ng ganong entry. So,
pursuant to my promise and yet circumventing it in a way, I typed the
entire song below. If you can relate to it like I do, you’d understand
why it was worth kind of cheating myself:

I just ran out of roads again.
Don’t know where to turn.
I started counting stars again
Then I lost my way.
I’ve just ran out of time again.
Will I ever learn
To stop my chase for hours again
Only to learn I’ve lost the day?

The last thing I need
Is to hear this whisper in the wind.
The last thing I want
Is this voice that rises from within.
I need to go home soon, I know.
But maybe tomorrow, not now.
When the last thing I need here and now
Is this lasting need for you.

I’ve been rushing out of rooms again
Too afraid to stay.
I’ve dreaming of some rainbow’s end
But the colors melt away.
Should my heart be like an open door
Helpless to the storm,
Permit your wind to touch my soul
Only to leave this aching song?

The last thing I need
Is to hear this whisper in the wind.
The last thing I want
Is this voice that rises from within.
I need to go home soon, I know.
But maybe tomorrow, not now.
When the last thing I need here and now
Is this lasting need for you.

The one thing I need
Is to hear your whisper in the wind.
The one thing I want
Is your voice that rises from within.
I need to go home soon, to you.
Won’t wait for tomorrow, right now.
For the one thing I need here and now
Is this haunting need for you.

This haunting need for you.

- Out of Roads/ Arnel dC Aquino, SJ

I
heard in some movie once - everything is going somewhere. I think i’ll
take that a step further and say that that somewhere is home. And deep
down inside, although we may deny it or we may fight it because of
pride or fear or any other human inclination, we all want to be there.
And I’d like to think somehow, we’re indeed all on the way.

I don’t know if it’s because I’m much older now or because the work has
become so much more hectic and a little bit more ‘non-Little Prince’
important, but those close to me have been constantly and consistently
asking me to relax more. Note that this is not the first time I’ve
heard this. As far as grade school I’ve been hearing the same thing.
And as far as grade school I’ve been giving the same answer - "I am
relaxed." Paminsan may kasama pang mura yon.

Hey,
I relax. I think the best way I can describe how I relax is that point
when you’ve been running so long that your breathing has normalized and
your feet feel like you’re walking when you’re actually still running.
I saw an Adidas shirt once (sidenote: I’m a bit disappointed Nike
didn’t think of it), "The run begins the moment you forget you’re
running". Or something like that (for some reason it sounded better
when I saw it on the shirt). I guess that’s how I feel about work and
relaxation - I relax the minute I forget I’m working.

And I also
relax, when the work is done, and I can be proud of what I did and say
that no one could have done it quite the same way. When what I
contributed counted. When my being there made a difference, no - the
difference.

And I relax, when I’m with those close to me. When
they poke fun at me (and everybody else) and they kid me about how
serious I am about everything and that I should relax sometimes. And
then I tell them, "I am relaxed."

I’m relaxed during that fleeting moment just before I take them seriously and start working again.

My family has an unfortunate history of shattered career dreams. My dad
wanted to be a pilot. But because of my very protective and very
domineering grandmother who saw too many World War aerial battles, he
ended up becoming a professional mechanical engineer. My mom, wanted to
specialize in pediatrics. But she wasn’t able to specialize anymore
because she thought she should already start practicing to up my
grandfather’s reputation for being a vice-mayor with no education. I
have a sister who wanted to become a doctor (to follow in my mom’s
footsteps, see), but she stopped halfway and became a nurse, because,
as far as I know, she couldn’t hack it.

I
am on my 8th month in Ateneo Law. And with all the financial
difficulties my family’s been going through & law school banging on
me day after day after day, I can’t help but wonder if I’m going to
have to give up my dream too. And assuming the worst happens and I find
myself moving farther and farther away from my dreams, what would life
be like then? What would that make me?

Ever answer the question "what’s your worst fear?" As far as I can remember, I’ve always answered consistently: Failure.

Now you know why.

One of the scariest ads I’ve ever seen in my life was the Stresstabs ad
on the pedestrian overpass right before crossing Guadalupe on the
southbound lane. Ever seen it?

For
the benefit of those who haven’t it showed two pictures of the same
guy. The first was his college graduation picture, all young and fresh
and ready to take on the world. The second one was his picture a few
months later looking like someone, well, who took on the world.

I bought a tablet right after the first time I saw it.
I would have bought an entire box if I had more cash on me.

Now that’s advertising.

After a quiz in one of my law subjects, my professor asked for someone
to recite the correct answer to the quiz question. Feeling very
confident, I dedided to volunteer.

When I finished, my professor had this to say:

"Winston
Churchill used to say about this one politician in parliament: ‘That
man has the uncanny ability of expressing the least amount of thought
in the most amount of words.’ Moe, I think you are competing with that
person."

The class laughed. Actually, so did I.

Personally,
I think that was one of the best insults i’ve heard in my lifetime. At
my expense, for sure. But excellent nonetheless.

The lesson? Damnit Moe, keep things short.

I used to play for my subdivision basketball team way back when I was in highschool. Playing ball was and still is a big thing where I live and so, although I couldn’t really find time to immerse myself in the game during the school year, come summer, the game, the ball and the court owned me. There was this one particular tryout (yes, we had tryouts - like I said, it was a big deal) I went to where something happened that still makes me think up till today.

It was pretty early when players started arriving on the court, 5 AM, probably 6. This, despite the fact that tryouts would start at around 7. It didn’t take a lot of waiting for the coach to arrive - a short yet imposing individual who at the time was a sort of village basketball legend. He knew all of us, so despite the coolness of the morning, he easily warmed up to those of us who were already there, saying stories of players he knew, games he watched and plays he wanted to run. And though most of us were restlessly fidgeting about, dribbling around, shooting half-hearted three pointers here and there, throwing chest passes only to ask the ball back, we were all avidly listening. We were all nervous in one way or another.

In the middle of one of those silences you naturally reach during conversations, the coach started asking each of us a very simple question - “Tingin mo ba makakapasok ka?” The person who was primarily going to decide if we would make the team was asking us straight out whether we thought we would make the team or not. As expected, each of us gave answers as half-hearted as the shots we were taking. “Sana”. “Bahala na”. “Ikaw bahala, coach”. “Hindi ko lang alam”. You know what I’m talking about.

After asking each and every one of us, the coach fell silent for a moment and then said very bluntly, “Kung di kayo sigurado kung papasa kayo, ano pa ginagawa ninyo dito?” The guy made sense. If we didn’t think we were going to make the team, given the skills we already had, what was the point of trying out in the first place? For the coach, to be there, meant something. It meant you thought you had what it takes. Anybody who thought otherwise, should not be there. It was as simple as that.

Most of us go through life not really sure of ourselves and our abilities, fumbling around even with the things we know we know. We go to tests and evaluations thinking, you know what, I’m probably going to fail. We go to interviews, auditions or tryouts, not sure whether we’re going to impress or not. We make presentations, enter deliberations and offer our arguments not convinced of the wisdom of our own words. But what’s the point of even going to such tests, interviews or presentations if we don’t think we’re going to succeed? Putting it from another perspective, what’s the point of being unsure of ourselves, if we all want to succeed?

Others would point out the uncertainty of things - “bilog ang bola”, kung baga. Anything and everything can happen. And you know what, to a large extent, that’s true. But come to think of it, in any situation, there are variables and there are certainties. And inasmuch as it’s impossible for any situation to be totally certain, meaning to have nothing but certainties, it is equally unlikely to have a situation where there are nothing but variables. And perhaps, what confidence is, is really one of the more reliable certainties we can hold on to when facing the challenge of everyday - something that does not negate anxiety and nervousness, but much more, goes beyond it. And what’s so damn good about it is that it’s something we control. Regardless of how good or how prepared we really are, the personal notion that we meet par or are even above it, that we are good enough or that we are even the best, this is something that cannot be taken away - that should not be given away. It’s a sure thing, if we want it to be.

I am in not saying it’s easy. Hell no. There are a lot of things that get in the way. Individual insecurities. The Filipino (over)regard for humility - that’s another, much longer story. Superstitions. The fear of failure. But whatever it is, the truth in the question “Kung di kayo sigurado kung papasa kayo, ano pa ginagawa ninyo dito?” continues to disturb me.

That coach eventually became a championship mentor of a big time highschool team. And a good number of the players he asked to the question to that morning eventually found themselves playing for their respective colleges. As for me, well, I’ve tried to take the idea behind the question to every endeavor and every effort, always thinking that success is inevitable and winning is imminent.

By the way, I made it to the team that summer.