Everything is Something

One of the scariest ads I’ve ever seen in my life was the Stresstabs ad
on the pedestrian overpass right before crossing Guadalupe on the
southbound lane. Ever seen it?

For
the benefit of those who haven’t it showed two pictures of the same
guy. The first was his college graduation picture, all young and fresh
and ready to take on the world. The second one was his picture a few
months later looking like someone, well, who took on the world.

I bought a tablet right after the first time I saw it.
I would have bought an entire box if I had more cash on me.

Now that’s advertising.

After a quiz in one of my law subjects, my professor asked for someone
to recite the correct answer to the quiz question. Feeling very
confident, I dedided to volunteer.

When I finished, my professor had this to say:

"Winston
Churchill used to say about this one politician in parliament: ‘That
man has the uncanny ability of expressing the least amount of thought
in the most amount of words.’ Moe, I think you are competing with that
person."

The class laughed. Actually, so did I.

Personally,
I think that was one of the best insults i’ve heard in my lifetime. At
my expense, for sure. But excellent nonetheless.

The lesson? Damnit Moe, keep things short.

I used to play for my subdivision basketball team way back when I was in highschool. Playing ball was and still is a big thing where I live and so, although I couldn’t really find time to immerse myself in the game during the school year, come summer, the game, the ball and the court owned me. There was this one particular tryout (yes, we had tryouts - like I said, it was a big deal) I went to where something happened that still makes me think up till today.

It was pretty early when players started arriving on the court, 5 AM, probably 6. This, despite the fact that tryouts would start at around 7. It didn’t take a lot of waiting for the coach to arrive - a short yet imposing individual who at the time was a sort of village basketball legend. He knew all of us, so despite the coolness of the morning, he easily warmed up to those of us who were already there, saying stories of players he knew, games he watched and plays he wanted to run. And though most of us were restlessly fidgeting about, dribbling around, shooting half-hearted three pointers here and there, throwing chest passes only to ask the ball back, we were all avidly listening. We were all nervous in one way or another.

In the middle of one of those silences you naturally reach during conversations, the coach started asking each of us a very simple question - “Tingin mo ba makakapasok ka?” The person who was primarily going to decide if we would make the team was asking us straight out whether we thought we would make the team or not. As expected, each of us gave answers as half-hearted as the shots we were taking. “Sana”. “Bahala na”. “Ikaw bahala, coach”. “Hindi ko lang alam”. You know what I’m talking about.

After asking each and every one of us, the coach fell silent for a moment and then said very bluntly, “Kung di kayo sigurado kung papasa kayo, ano pa ginagawa ninyo dito?” The guy made sense. If we didn’t think we were going to make the team, given the skills we already had, what was the point of trying out in the first place? For the coach, to be there, meant something. It meant you thought you had what it takes. Anybody who thought otherwise, should not be there. It was as simple as that.

Most of us go through life not really sure of ourselves and our abilities, fumbling around even with the things we know we know. We go to tests and evaluations thinking, you know what, I’m probably going to fail. We go to interviews, auditions or tryouts, not sure whether we’re going to impress or not. We make presentations, enter deliberations and offer our arguments not convinced of the wisdom of our own words. But what’s the point of even going to such tests, interviews or presentations if we don’t think we’re going to succeed? Putting it from another perspective, what’s the point of being unsure of ourselves, if we all want to succeed?

Others would point out the uncertainty of things - “bilog ang bola”, kung baga. Anything and everything can happen. And you know what, to a large extent, that’s true. But come to think of it, in any situation, there are variables and there are certainties. And inasmuch as it’s impossible for any situation to be totally certain, meaning to have nothing but certainties, it is equally unlikely to have a situation where there are nothing but variables. And perhaps, what confidence is, is really one of the more reliable certainties we can hold on to when facing the challenge of everyday - something that does not negate anxiety and nervousness, but much more, goes beyond it. And what’s so damn good about it is that it’s something we control. Regardless of how good or how prepared we really are, the personal notion that we meet par or are even above it, that we are good enough or that we are even the best, this is something that cannot be taken away - that should not be given away. It’s a sure thing, if we want it to be.

I am in not saying it’s easy. Hell no. There are a lot of things that get in the way. Individual insecurities. The Filipino (over)regard for humility - that’s another, much longer story. Superstitions. The fear of failure. But whatever it is, the truth in the question “Kung di kayo sigurado kung papasa kayo, ano pa ginagawa ninyo dito?” continues to disturb me.

That coach eventually became a championship mentor of a big time highschool team. And a good number of the players he asked to the question to that morning eventually found themselves playing for their respective colleges. As for me, well, I’ve tried to take the idea behind the question to every endeavor and every effort, always thinking that success is inevitable and winning is imminent.

By the way, I made it to the team that summer.

You know what I really don’t get? Abbreviations. And I don’t mean the
common ones like "Mr." (mister) or "the ff" (the following). Hell,
those are ok. I’m talking about the contemporary ones you hear people
use nowadays like, well, "Bora" for instance. I know, I know, not that
much to rant about, but hear me out.

"Bora"
is the shortened version of the popular beach "Boracay". What bothers
me is the fact that it’s a damn syllable off. And all of a sudden it’s
easier on the tongue of the person saying it and easier on the ears of
the person hearing it. There was a time people said the entire proper
name - "Boracay". I don’t really understand why it took on the
supposedly cooler name it has now.

I mean, I’m a reasonable man.
When people called "Il Ponticello", "Ponti", I didn’t complain because
goddamnit, you can’t keep on saying 5 syllables when referring to a
place in a conversation.

Dude 1: Where you going tonight pare? To "Il Ponticello"?

Dude 2: Yah pare. To "Il Ponticello" chong.

Dude 1: Ah really? Who’s in "Il Ponticello" ba tonight?

Dude 2: A whole bunch of people are in "Il Ponticello" pare. "Il Ponticello" is where the party’s at.

Medyo inefficient, don’t you think?

But
damnit man, "Boracay"? What’s so hard about saying that? Or better yet,
i’ll put it in terms more people will understand, what’s so "uncool"
about it - especially since it’s what persons are supposed to call it
in the first place.

And there are more - and not just proper
nouns mind you. Like, and here’s an all-time favorite, "tat" - the
shortcut for "tattoo". Now, with "Boracay" I eventually came to the
conclusion that the reason people had to shorten it was because three
syllables was just too long for people to say. Kawawa naman sila diba?
So "Bora" na lang. So you can imagine my heightened irritation when I
discovered that even two syllable words like "tattoo" had to be
abbreviated. Ganon ba talaga kahirap sabihin ang "tattoo"? Hindi,
talaga. Because I don’t get it.

Ok, fine… let’s give the
aforementioned abbreviations "the benefit of the doubt". Malay mo nga
naman talaga, baka naman mas madali talaga sabihin. However, what’s
strange about it is that other words, much longer, are NOT abbreviated.
There’s a popular spot in "Bora" called "Cocomangas". Now, you don’t
hear people calling it "Coco" or "Mangas" or "CoMa" or "Gas" or "Co" or
any other subset of the original - it’s always just "Cocomangas". Hmmm,
baka naman kasi establishment siya, and there’s some "Bora" rule
written somewhere that says establishments should not be abbreviated.
Eh hindi rin eh! There’s another spot nearby called "Hey Jude", a two
syllable name, quite easy to say, and yet, customers insist in calling
it "Jude". Anakngputanginanghayopnashit… ang labo! Diba kanta yon?
You don’t sing it and say "Nanananananananananana… Jude". Bitin eh.
(But admittedly, that last remark, that’s a little beside the point)

I’m
a firm believer that everything one does or says must have some
rationale, some purpose. Even when people say, "There’s no reason for
me doing this. I’m just doing this for fun." Hell, "to have fun" - that
in itself is a reason, even though most people deem "having fun" as
something without a point. There is a point - because we can’t all be
so serious all the time. So abbreviations, when used, must have some
underlying reason for the, well, abbreviating. It’s either the word
itself is too long, the word when used is usually connected to other
necessarily long words (like people’s name for instance), the word
itself is used more often than usual or something, anything that would
justify the shortening of the root word - Not just some random cropping
of such simple words or phrases even a damn parakeet could utter.

But
hell, I may be wrong. Maybe there is some obvious reason behind it and
I’m just not getting it. Maybe it’s easier to say when people are drunk
or easier to understand when people are high. Maybe it’s a new language
evolving before our very ears. Maybe it’s a little of both. Whatever
the case, it would be nice to know just in case I find myself going to
"Bora" or getting myself a "tat".

This is only the third entry to my journal in a span of so many months. Clearly not very impressive, especially considering the reason why I applied for a journal in the first place. Add that to the fact that the content of each entry isn’t exactly as inspiring or thought-provoking as i’d hoped it would be, the result as you can see, is quite, well, pathetic.

I decided perhaps it was best to just abandon the whole thing and get rid of my account. That way, it was as if I never made the mistake of attempting to make one in the first place.

There was a problem; however, in that there seemed to be no option on the site that could actually abolish the journal. In other words, I couldn’t get rid of the account.

I’m not quite sure if there really isn’t a button I can click on to erase the entire thing or if I just didn’t look hard enough, but one thing was for sure, undoing what I have already done wasn’t as easy I thought it would be. Hell, maybe the creators of livejournal intentionally made it that way, that once you have a journal, you have it pretty much as long as you live, regardless of how lousy the content is, regardless of how many entries you actually make, whether you use it or not.

We often make decisions that we wish we never made. At first, the choice seems so obvious, as if no idiot would choose otherwise. But as soon as the reality of it all hits us in the face, we wonder what exactly got into our heads. And when the shit hits the fan, we all try to undo all that we have done. "That’s not what I meant". "I was misinformed". "I didn’t know any better". But most of the time, we aren’t so lucky and our chosen actions and their consequences are forever imprinted in some form of history, and much more, forever imprinted in ourselves. Those of us who find ourselves in such predicament have two choices. Either we leave our decisions as is and hope they do not do any further damage or, eventually, they’ll blossom into what can be called "a good decision after all". Or we work with what has happened, or better yet, what we have become (after all, our decisions make up who we are), and try to make something worthwhile, something beautiful or something great.

This journal isn’t much. But it’s here, so I might as well keep it. And not just keep it, but make it worth reading and thinking about - one entry at a time. If it will ever matter to anybody else but me, who knows? But hell, i’ll try anyway.

Ever seen that FPJ campaign ad on TV with him telling us what to expect
in the first 100 days if he were elected president? It starts with him
sitting down on some wood desk ala someone who is already president (I
think he even has a Philippine flag as a backdrop). Then he starts to
speak (oh no). I think it goes something like, "Hayaan ninyong ihain ko
sa inyo ang aking programa sa aking unang isang daan araw". Afterwhich,
he gives three short quick points - permanenteng hanapbuhay (permanent
jobs), pangmatagalan kapayapaan (long-term peace and order) and mas
mababang presyo ng gamot (lower medicine prices). He, of course,
expounds on each - just in case Filipinos don’t get what the hell he’s
talking about.

In
my opinion, this ad was created as a response to the individuals and
groups who have shunned and ridiculed Poe for not having a platform or
a plan for national progress. And in my opinion, his response was crap.
Actually, if you think about it, most of the so-called platforms
candidates have are exactly that - crap.

Employment? Food? Peace
and Order? Education? Economic Stability? Let me ask you a question:
What moronic candidate in his/her right mind wouldn’t want these things
for the good of his/her constituents? Simply put (for the benefit of
all candidates), of course you’re going to say that because that’s what
being a public servant is all about! Sino bang bobo ang tatayo sa
entablado at sasabihin sa taong bayan na ayaw niyang magkaroon ng
edukasyon ang lahat ng anak natin? Sino bang hunghang ang magsasabi ng,
"Alam mo yang ‘Peace and Order’, hindi naman kailangan niyan eh"? Sino
bang tanga ang magsasabing hindi natin kailangan ng "de-kalidad" na
trabaho? Wala diba? Check the posters of the presidential candidates,
don’t they say the exact same thing? Pabahay. Pagsugpo sa Karahasan.
Pagkain sa bawat hapag kainan. Eh kung ganon lang pala eh di kahit na
sinong manalo, ok lang. Pare-pareho lang naman gusto nila, diba? If
this is the quality of platforms we get every election, no wonder we
judge by personality - in essence, we really don’t have much of a
choice.

Platforms are more than just goals. They must also be
methodologies. They must communicate not just what a candidate wants
but how exactly he/she is going to get it. I want education for all -
this is how I am going to do it. I want food on every table - my
opponent’s way of getting this does not make sense, listen to me, this
is how it’s supposed to be done. I want a better Philippines - let me
tell you what I am going to do to make things better. Goals and
methodologies - that’s what we need to know.

Because we all
want progress. We all want positive change. Any monkey could tell you
that. But ask the monkey how to go about it, ask the monkey for a
platform and he’ll probably scratch its head in wonder at what the hell
you’re saying. Either that or he’ll go on TV clad in a barong ala
president of the Philippines and tell us that we need "permanenteng
hanapbuhay", "pangmatagalan kapayapaan" and "mas mababang presyo ng
gamot".

If we don’t see what’s wrong with that, then maybe we’re the monkeys.

1:34am: Contributing
"I am Shutruk-Nahunte, King of Anshand and Susa, Sovereign of the Land of Elam. By the Command of Inshushimak, I destroyed Sippar, took the Stele of Niran-Sin, and brought it back to Elam, where I erected it as an offering to my god, Inshushimak."

- Shutruk-Nahunte (1158 BC)

This was a quote I heard from a movie entitled "The Emperor’s Club" - a film I thought was a rip-off of Dead Poet’s Society, but turned out to be very much different. In this movie, Kevin Kline played the role of a Mr. William Hundert, a Classics professor at St. Benedict’s School for Boys - a reputable middle school in an uppercrust area of the United States which was, well, for boys. Without going about the details of the plot, the first lesson of Mr. Hundert at the start of every school year, and coincidentally his first lesson shown in the movie, was about this same quote, or particularly, the man who spoke it. Who is Shutruk-Nahunte? What did he accomplish?Who the hell knows? Or cares? This was the point Mr. Hundert wanted to make. That Shutruk-Nahunte was unknown. Or better yet, forgotten. And why? Because his accomplishments were without contribution. And accomplishments without contribution, according to Mr. Hundert, are insignificant.

Although the nerd in me is saying that’s probably not the primary reason why he wasn’t remembered (i.e. he lived in 1158 BC, a time of limited historical data and hence would naturally be forgotten without a factual record), I do agree with the conclusion. Accomplishment without contribution is without significance. And not just accomplishment. The key is contribution. You may even go as far as saying "To hell with accomplishment". What is important is contributing. Contributing to the greater cause, to the bigger picture. It is essential, necessary, for significance, greatness, and ultimately, for simply being human.

Not only I, but others as well.

This is the reason I have created this journal - to contribute. Just like any other human being, I get ideas every day, every hour, even every minute and moment of my life. Sometimes, I get to share these ideas with other people. There are times I get to use them. But most of the time, they get lost and hence, regardless of how good an idea may be, the fact that it is unshared and forgotten overrides whatever significance it may have had. This journal is where some of these potentially lost thoughts go - at least the ones I am able to catch up with. And this is where these same thoughts can be shared with other people, just in case they need what I have to say. Will anybody really end up reading "my garbage"? Probably not. But it’s worth a try, isn’t it? You never know who may end up reading what I have to say. What these people may end up choosing to do. What my words would mean to them. What they would eventually be thinking afterwards. What they will be contributing. Because in the greater scheme of things, what matters most is contributing what one can, when one can. Not only for one’s self, but for others as well.

Another quote in the movie was stated as follows: the end depends upon the beginning.

This is how this journal begins. Interesting to find out how it will all end.

The first few entries of this blog have been lifted from my first blog site in www.livejournal.com. They have been transferred to Friendster for my convenience and to optimize visibility.